Philippians 2:12-13

"So then, my dear friends, just as you have always obeyed, not only in my presence, but now even more in my absence, work out your own salvation with fear and trembling. For it is God who is working in you, enabling you both to desire and work out His good purpose."

Verse 12 definitely has been confused for many years. I can't claim ultimate authority on it's theological meaning, but I do have my own thoughts based on mild research and what I know about God. I don't think this can mean that someone works to achieve their salvation. That would go against what Paul teaches elsewhere. Based on my experience today, and verse 13, I can't help but the think it means that we should strive to achieve the works God has uniquely planned and gifted us for with fear and trembling. 

In my neighborhood there is a man who walks his dogs whom I see regularly. He's got a big dog and a little chihuahua, so they kind of stick out. The guy also looks cool to me. He's older so his hair is gray and balding, and his beard is almost white, but groomed well, and he's always wearing shorts and flip flops, looking really casual. He looks like the laid back kind of guy I hope to be one day. I randomly saw him at Starbucks one day, and worked up the courage to introduce myself as someone who sees him around the neighborhood. While waiting for his coffee, I learned his name and a brief summary of how long he's been in the area. He then got his drink and we parted ways. I have felt that this is the beginning of a potential way to build a relationship with someone in my neighborhood. He may be a Christian, or he may be completely off the deep end spiritually, but I think God wants me to pursue this relationship regardless for some good work He might have me do in this guy's life.

Therefore, I have started trying to think of ways to run into him beyond the chance encounter at a local store. Knowing he walks his dogs, and he lives along the route I take to drive to our clubhouse gym, I decided to start walking to the gym instead of driving. It takes all of five minutes, so no big deal. About four times a week for the last few weeks I pray and hope that he'll be out walking his dogs as I walk to the gym, but I never see him. Until today, when I saw him coming out of a house to get something out of his car. He was a little too far away to have a casual "bump in" conversation, so I would have had to call out his name to get his attention. This would have, in my opinion, completely ruined my casual "oh hey, aren't you that guy I met a few weeks ago?" plan, so I let the moment pass- and kicked myself over and over for not taking the opportunity. 

I know what it's like for God to "enable" me "both to desire and work out His good purpose." I want to build this relationship, and God provided an opportunity, but I sit here "trembling" spiritually at the fact that I blew my chance. 

I desire to achieve the works God has for me, and what He's enabled me for through my salvation, and I will continue to pray that God gives me more chances to follow through. 

Proverbs 13:10

"Arrogance leads to nothing but strife, but wisdom is gained by those who take advice."

A lot of Proverbs cuts right to the heart. There are so many concise bits of teaching that I think it's impossible for anyone to read without seeing themselves and their flaws reflected in the text. 

Arrogance is a real struggle for me, which is weird because I spent a lot of time getting made fun of in my younger years. For various reasons, I was a target for light to moderate bullying. Although never physically assaulted, guys in my grade found it easy to tear me down with words, and it wasn't until junior high that I found a safe space with some close friends. In this friend group, I grew in confidence, and during high school, with all the advanced classes, I slowy was able to get away from the bullies, all of which were not intelligent, and therefore not in the bulk of my classes. From there, I started finding the activities I was good at, and ignored those things in which I did not excel. Thus, I grew in confidence, knowing I was better than many at the things I put my effort into. 

At some point, I guess confidence became arrogance. Rarely do I think someone has a better idea than me, and for a while, it was difficult to accept advice. I don't think I have trouble accepting advice that is clearly wise and applicable, but I don't often think someone's suggestion is better than what my ideas are. I'm not sure if I'm right, and my ideas are actually better, or if I'm just blind. 

Either way, this bit of wisdom about taking advice is vital. In a weird way, I think taking advice has actually made me arrogant. I am a sponge of wisdom, and learning from those better than me is my favorite thing to do. Once I learn though, my confidence from good training can quickly become arrogance. It is a fine line that I must walk. And the bit about strife is dead on. Arrogance does nothing but cause friction in a relationship. It is not a characteristic that moves a relationship forward, so a healthy marriage, friendship, or work environment hinges on defeating arrogance, and excelling in humility. 

Exodus 36:29

"So the Israelites brought a free will offering to the Lord, all the men and women whose hearts prompted them to bring something for all the work that the Lord, through Moses, had commanded to be done."

God commanded Moses and the people to create a place for Him to meet with His people. For whatever reason, God wanted a specific location to interact with them. My assumption is, without Christ as intercessor, the guidelines for interacting with God had to be very clear, and adhered to with great care. 

Regardless, God told His people to create this place with very clear instructions. However, only those whose hearts were prompted obeyed the command, and they did so willingly. The Creator asked, and those creations who adored Him, helped out willingly. 

This makes me wonder about the whole tithe principle. You can't argue that the idea of tithing is in the Old Testsment, but I wonder if God's true goal for us is to give to His kingdom willingly. A tithe is a good amount to give, but is my motivation from the heart or from the law? I think at this point in my Christian walk, I tithe willingly, but I don't doubt that many Christ followers give because they feel like they have to. I wonder if obedience for the sake of obedience is pleasing to God? If so, is it possible for Him to be more pleased when we reach the place where we give because our hearts prompt us?

I tithe willingly because I love God, but I'm hoping to get better at giving beyond 10% of my money, time, and ability to God's Kingdom work, specifically beyond the four walls of the building we've mislabeled as the "church." God is prompting my heart to give more towards making Him famous in the world, but I need to follow through with His leading. 

God has made many commands of us through Jesus; I'm hoping to continue to progress towards the goal of being a man that is completely prompted in my heart to obey. Right now, I more often obey because that's what I feel like I'm supposed to do. One day, I hope to have a love so strong that I can't help but obey out of adoration for my Creator.